Bar Etiquette...

  So, before I start posting stories from the bar, I feel it's necessary to cover the basics of bar etiquette.  This should let you know why certain things are frustrating to bartenders, and what is proper protocol for being in a bar.


  Bartending truly is very similar to working at a daycare.  Switch the cookies and milk for beer and bar food, and it's the same.  Think about it... children mispronounce words sometimes, and intoxicated adults slur their words.  If you take away a child's cookies, the child will throw a temper tantrum, much the same as an adult who has been cut off.  Sometimes children at day care get sick, or soil themselves.  Sometimes adults in bars do the same thing.  Children fight over toys, inebriated adults fight over each other.  Lots of times, children spill their drinks on themselves, make a mess or end up with food in their hair.  It's the same with inebriated adults.  Children argue with the teacher and act out when they disagree, bar patrons fight, scream and curse the bar staff when they disagree.  Look at all of the similarities.


  So the next time you go out to the bar to blow off some steam, keep in mind that all night, the bartender has to deal with adults who have reverted back to their toddler years.  Cut them some slack.  Below is a list of simple bar rules that you should keep in mind...


1. When walking up to the bar, understand that any good bartender knows you've approached.  We may not make eye contact, but we know you're there.  Just like the other patrons waiting to be served, you will have to wait your turn.
   
DO NOT...

• Whistle...whistling at my bar is a signal that obviously, you are too intoxicated to distinguish the difference between a human being and a dog.  You whistle at dogs, not at humans.  Clearly, I am to assume you have had too much to drink and should be cut off.  
• Wave your arms like a maniac...I understand a slight wave, and I will probably nod my head at you so that you're aware I see you.  If you wave at me like a psycho, I will ignore you.  You will be pushed further back in line.  Waving like a maniac symbols to me one of three things:
• Something is on fire
• You are attempting to control air traffic
• You think your drink order is more important than anyone else's at the bar
• Slam your drink glass down on the bar, or tap it incessantly...Once again, it's obvious you've had too much to drink if you have lost control of basic motor functions such as firmly holding onto a glass or bottle.
• Scream....If you scream at me, you are disrupting other customers, being disrespectful and quite frankly, out of your flipping mind.  This is a sure fire way to ensure that you do not get served.  I don't care if you're screaming my name, or "HEY", regardless, it's rude and you know better.

DO:

• Approach the bar and wait your turn
• Feel free to give me a head nod if we make eye contact
• Understand that you are now in a line, and when your turn comes, you will be served
• Know what you want to drink when I come to take your order
• Have your money ready to pay for your drink, or offer me a credit card to hold a tab open
• Most importantly, TIP

2. When in a bar, act like an adult.  If you throw ANYTHING, whether it be coasters, paper towels, empty cups, whatever...you will be asked to leave.  Obviously, you're too intoxicated if you have confused the bar with a football stadium.  

3.  If you've had too much to drink, and you get cut off, you're done.  This is not code for, ask everyone else at the bar to buy your drinks, steal other patrons' drinks, or attempt to reach over the bar for a bottle.  You've embarrassed yourself enough by not knowing your own limits, do not continue to do so by acting like a child.  

4.  If you don't know what you would like to drink, feel free to say I want something with vodka, that tastes fruity.  I will make you a drink.  If you don't know what you're ordering and you order a Long Island, then decide it's too strong, you will pay for the drink anyway.  Know what you drink, or ask for a recommendation.  

5.  Do not ask the bartender if they know how to make a drink.  If the bartender doesn't know how to make a drink, he/she will let you know.  Otherwise, don't insult our intelligence. 

6.  If a customer tells me to "make it strong"...I will ask if he/she would like a double.  If the customer replies "no, just make it strong", I can guarantee that he/she will receive a weak drink out of spite.  I'm sorry, but it's true.  If a single isn't strong enough, order a double.  I am not going to hook you up just because you don't want to spend money on a double.  

7.  NEVER reach over the bar.  EVER.  This rule also includes touching the bartender.  DON'T...EVER. 

That's the basics!  Pretty simple really.  Sorry if I've offended anyone, but come on...it needed to be said.


  As a bartender, I enjoy my job.  I want to talk to people, have fun and make great drinks.  I will be in a good mood, treat you with a respect, let you know I appreciate your business and wait on you as quickly as possible.  I want you to have a good time, and I want to have a good time.  The staff of a bar adds to the atmosphere, we try to create a place where you'll enjoy spending your time and your money.  This list of what is acceptable is not meant to insult anyone.  It's just that if you are being rude and obnoxious at a bar, you are disrupting the customers who are trying to relax and have fun.  If your intent is to be disrespectful or to disrupt the party for other patrons, you probably shouldn't be at a bar.  That being said, laissez les bon temps rouler!  Go out, be respectful, and I promise, your bartender will do their best to make sure you have a great night! :)